My mom has breast cancer! (there! I said it!) Admitting it is probably the first step to accepting it, today, I finally allowed myself to think, write and say it out loud to someone. Yes, my mom has breast cancer and that’s ok, I’ll be fine.

Actually, it’s not ok; I don’t want my mom to have breast cancer. Why does it have to be her? Why couldn’t it be the stupid stepmonster? She deserves it!

You know what sucks more than getting breast cancer? Getting breast cancer in a shithole (yes! I said “Shithole” if you don’t agree, trying having breast cancer there!) like Ghana, where healthcare’s so shitty, young, normal healthy looking people die in their sleep for no apparent reason and it’s acceptable, cause of death is probably listed as “died in sleep”.

Last year, my mom had a lumpectomy without ever having a mammogram, biopsy or any blood tests. They just went in and took out the lump, she laughed at us hysterically when we suggested she maybe see a doctor outside Ghana, saying it was all very routine and simple, nothing to worry about. She said her doctor was the best there was. Naturally we assumed the necessary tests had been done and it was benign.

Tests from the tissue of the lump they took out came back cancerous! (DCIS) When my mom went back to her doctor; the guy had already left the country for greener pastures. His replacement told my mom she needed a mastectomy immediately and that… get this…. she should look for a family member who’ll to give her blood and then come back and schedule the surgery!

My sister faxed a copy of the results (my mom sent to us) to a friend at Johns Hopkins Breast Center, the test it turns out isn’t even scientific, it’s visual. We also found out that no mammogram, biopsy nor blood tests were ever done, so we’re not even sure if they were able to get all the cancerous tissue out plus the required wide margin of healthy tissue. My sister’s (doctor) friend asked that she gets mammogram.

The sad truth about Ghana is that, there’s this elitist atmosphere where only the rich and well connected get the ‘best’ of everything, while the poor suffer the most unreasonable hardships, including proper basic healthcare, that’s how it’s always been and it’s accepted, no one champions the cause of the poor, there’re no credible activists, just corrupt politicians, businessmen and pastors.

So one of my mom’s ‘well connected friends’ had her go see a ‘top surgeon’ whom my sister called the next day after my mom’s visit. He basically told her that if we wanted my mom to live we’d get her medical attention else where. He asked her why we hadn’t wondered when a single medical test hadn’t been done on my mom. He said there’s no viable breast cancer after care treatment in Ghana; their equipments are old and rusty, their methods outdated; they just do mastectomies on anyone with a cancerous breast and hope it doesn’t return; and hardly ever any radiation, chemo or follow-up care.

Plus the doctors think they’re God therefore don’t explain themselves, the situation or the treatment plans and or options to their patients. Most of the time my mom doesn’t even know why or for what she’s supposed to be taking the drugs she’s given. This would all be very funny if my mom didn’t have breast cancer, which in itself is probably the hugest deal I’ve been faced with in my life, I also have to deal to total incompetence, misinformation, helplessness and sheer frustration.

Now that we know, we’re doing our best to get her everything and all the help she needs. I feel like I’m being forced on this long winding journey, destination… unknown.

PLAYING: Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley

READING: How to meet cute boys – Deanna Kizis

WATCHING: Head to toe

QUOTE: “but all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you”