We just got new carpets at my work, it’s dark crimson with specks of blue. Everyone says it’s beautiful so I guess maybe it is, frankly it looks like a bloodbath at first glance, a huge pool of blood after a massacre. The guy that sold it to them said it’s warm, I think it’s depressing. I don’t know, maybe I’m just bitter and disappointed that I can’t bring myself to just up and quit, yet everyone else is excited about some carpet that makes the place seem like a slaughter house.

Deciding to leave your job should be straightforward right? even bold or maybe exciting, but not me, because in my family no one quits their job. Fact is, in my family, you don’t quit anything, ever. I loathed being a Brownie (kiddie Girl Guides/Scouts, not the cookie) but my mom said I couldn’t quit, she sounded so definite I believed it was part of the pledge.

When my mom heard we were moving to Canada, her first question was whether we were going to quit our jobs… so the first thing we did when we got here was to look for work, I started work two weeks into my arrival.

Maybe we wouldn’t be so work obsessed if we hadn’t lived the first 7 years of my life in abject poverty just because my dad decided to quit his job to follow his dreams. It was a very bleak and sombre period in our family, a time that changed us for ever, the reason we rarely talk about our dreams and are always practical.

It’s a bond I have to break if I’m going to eventually find myself, I need to tell myself that I’m not my father, my children wouldn’t starve just because I decide to quit my job, I’ll be fine! It’s ok to want to follow my dreams or just plain quit my job because I want to do something different, it’ll all turn out ok. I will not become poor and destitute! I’m not my father

PLAYING: 100 Years – Five for fighting

READING: Brick Lane – Monica Ali

WATCHING: Eve

QUOTE: “There’s never a wish better than this”