I’ve been a bit bored lately; maybe restless is the word I’m looking for. I think I was born restless, with a deep yen to roam for life. Alice (the step-monster) says my biggest challenge in life will be sticking with something long enough for any good to come out of it. But what does she know eh? She’s as evil as she’s a bitch and if she’d created a ~salubrious~ environment for me to grow, I wouldn’t have turned into a manic thrill seeker.

Now that I’ve done the whole move thing, settled in at home and at work and lived the exact same life for a year, my demon’s reared its head again. It keeps asking “so what’s next?” The only times I’ve been able to keep calm is in anticipation of a life altering event. I counted the years till I’ll leave home during my teenage years, and that kept me going. The excitement of being on my own fuelled my passion when I first moved to the States. Two years later, I was making plans to move to Canada, which was something to look forward to. Now that I’m here, there’s no next big thing for me! I feel a bit stifled, like I wouldn’t be able to find myself or even grow if I don’t plan on what/where to do next.

Will I choose all the right things and stay put with having zilch to look forward to? What’s the fun in that? Will I hate this place and myself if life continues in this monotonous lull?

~[m-w’s word of the day]~

PLAYING: Bigger than my body – John Mayer

READING: The Nanny – Melissa Nathan

WATCHING: Ed

QUOTE: “yes, I'm grounded got my wings clipped”